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Almost forgotten conversation

Monday, 1 September, 2014

We were in my old apartment, and still naked.

She asked, “What kind of porno do you like?” This question makes me even more uncomfortable than it does you.

“um, well, you know I don’t really …” as I reached for the sweatpants I hoped were still in the second drawer up

“Dude. C’mon.”

“What?” he replied as if innocence was possible.

“You have this tiny apartment. You are almost 40. I don’t see any videos or anything. Do you like magazines or what? Where do you keep your porn?”

I gave up on the sweatpants. “Really? This is what you want to know?” and I get up. “I didn’t really appreciate porno until the internet era. I rented videos once in a while but that just didn’t do it, really.”

“That isn’t the question. Are you going to tell me or not?” She’s still in bed, defiantly bare breasted, blankets down to her waist.

“Okay, come over here.”

“I knew it would have something to do with the computer.”

He sighs, then types cryptic stuff into the machine. She takes a chair from the “kitchen” table and sits hopefully next to him.

“This is what I like.”

“What’s wrong with this? Lots of guys like videos.”

“They aren’t videos. These are live feeds.”

“What do you mean?”

“Women choose to wire up a webcam and broadcast to this website, and there are a few others.”

“Hold up. This is all live? All those windows has a live person doing porno?”

“Um, pretty much.”

“Fuck you. Bullshit. Women aren’t going to do this.”

“Well, you asked.”

She gets up to pour the last glass of wine. “So. Are there girls you like on here?”

“oh yeah. I’ll see if anybody’s on.”

She returns to her seat well ready to watch her bang buddy humiliate himself. “Did you find something?”

“Yeah.” a steady 16 FPS video feed is on the computer screen.

“Do you know her?” she asked facetiously.

“Not really.”

At which point the woman on the computer screen wearing only fishnet stockings says, “Staaan! Hi, baby.”

At this point my corporeal companion short circuited.

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