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Among the problems with the cinema.

Friday, 18 November, 2011

You cannot really see or hear the movie. Compared to the experience at home in an age in which almost everyone has a 720i monitor of some kind and stereo, at least, sound,  the essential presentation of a motion picture in a theater is sub-optimal. Some of the sixteen audio channels are often simply missing, the screen is lifeless and dark and the opening forty minutes of insulting previews are enough to make you sacrifice your substantial investment in admission.

The actual room has all of the usual quirks. Cell phones, chatting and so on as you have read hundreds of times before. Now, in some houses, you have the staff sheepishly intervening constantly and futilely to enforce the house rules against such behavior. This is not an improvement.

Admission must be made comparable to the price of the DVD in three months. Why pay $25 to go to some invariably drab, uncomfortable place when I can see the picture in a few months in the comfort of my own home, or the home of another film weirdo, actually see and hear the damn thing repeatedly for about $20.

With the potential, relative ease and present quality of streaming, the cinema cannot compete.

The seating is, for the most part, less sticky at home.

The catering at Cinema Angrystan is simply better than that at any existing cinema in the world, bar none. It is entirely oriented to my personal tastes, and often enough those of my guests. It is even better than the four dollars of fast food for fifteen dollars at the diner-N-movie complex. With a specific venue in mind, occasionally a choice of beers are on offer and you can taste the difference between them.

Although guests sometimes complain, I don’t have to wear my trousers or shoes.

Your correspondent is one of those people for whom 3D causes headaches. Although a sucker for the new generation of superhero movies, on the whole, soulless blockbusters are simply frustrating. No need to go to see those.

I am not even tempted to try those thirty-dollar-ticket joints. For one thing they tend to be in a part of town where my car is likely to be pulled over just on principle.

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2 Comments
  1. Saturday, 19 November, 2011 11:28

    It’s just another industry that deserves to die. They are the old gate keepers. They were always parasites. It’s simply more evident now.

    I also look at the movies as further evidence of our Idiocracy-like decline. People will no longer bother with the cinema. Thus, it’s left to the young & to those who can’t afford a better rig at home.

    It will get worse as the industry dies. That’s my guess.

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    • Saturday, 19 November, 2011 15:13

      Yeah, but I miss the cinema. All that stuff people claim can somehow be restored. The dignity and somber presentation, and so forth.

      I’ve been trying to work this into a post, but I’m doing it here instead. This is what I expect to see in the next few years:

      Somebody kinda famous in The Industry, not Scorsese or Herzog but someone notable nonetheless, makes the little movie he’s been trying to get made for decades. Not for TV, not for a studio, not for proper release, not with a proper budget, but with a few interns, students and pals with the camera he typically uses for the kid’s birthday parties, editing with Sony Vegas or something and unleashes it upon Dailymotion, Youtube or the like.

      At which point the first nail in the coffin is flushed to the surface.

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