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Why I can’t get anything done.

Friday, 30 November, 2007

Went to the nice laundromat some two miles from the house. Baking soda, borax, bleach, detergent that doesn’t smell like anything, disfelination fluid, was forced to buy twenty dollars in quarters …

They have machines that vend twenty dollars in quarters, which wouldn’t take the one ten I carried. Eighty coins. You shove in your legal tender and they just keep coming.

Then you put all of your whites, towels, the bedclothes including the scratchy blankets I bought at Big Lots in the 80’s, the pillows, the throw rugs, &c in three quintuple, front-loading washer-extractors. Be certain to latch the door securely. The machines are each at about 60% of capacity. Use the “pre-wash” or “special wash” mode. Add a dose of detergent, and about 8 oz. of disfelination fluid in the pre-wash. I was going to put the disfelination only in the bed clothes dominated load, but my Jane has been sleeping in the pile rather consistently. We had a few days of urination problems, but the doctor’s first wave suggestions actually worked this time.

Once the pre-wash drains off add 1½ cup of baking soda and 1½ cup of borax quite early for proper distribution through the wash water. Upon the beginning of agitation, but before the machine stops filling, add another dose of detergent. Roughly five minutes into agitation, add 2 cups of “ultra bleach”. Yes, that’s a lot, but you’re not a bachelor who’s been putting this off too long. If you do this correctly, and are a filthy man, the wash water will have an amber tinge near the end of the wash cycle. Unless you use “HE” (high efficiency) detergent, the water suds excessively. This is not a problem, as the machine rinses thoroughly.

All of the chemicals drain with the wash water; two rinse cycles commence. This is a thirty-five minute process end to end. The spin cycle appears particularly aggressive, but in fact is more gentle than a domestic top-loader. Upon disengaging the red seal, you may be shocked at the appearance of both your white items and anything not color fast which happened to find their way into the glacier of dirty laundry. This is why I now have three sets of pink underpants which originally may have been black, but I cannot be certain.

If you choose to use fabric softener, do so in the dryer. The timing for adding liquid softener in the second rinse is somewhat difficult. After noting the effect of fabric softener nullifies (evaporates?) following two weeks of storage, I no longer use such products. The through degreasing properties of baking soda act not unlike a fabric softening agent.

Commercial, heat-pump, textile dryers perform inconsistently, but a good rule of thumb is to place no more than a double-load per dryer and use full heat for approximately 25 minutes. My coin laundry provides not uncommon eight minutes of drying time for twenty-five cents. This can be handy when your duvet comes back a bit damp, and you don’t want to wait for the traditional twenty-eight minutes of a full thirty-minute cycle.

Each washing machine load is split between two dryers. No dryer sheets or facsimiles are used. A minor problem with triboelectric attraction can be readily nullified through physical separation and folding. Three loads required additional time, although potentially heat sensitive items made of synthetic material which were dry are removed.

The dry textiles are then categorized: bed linens, personal items, and other household items. Then returned home to be placed in their respective storage areas. Two towels are returned to the lavatory, and full linens added to the bed-like appliance.

I’ve been working for three weeks to work up the endurance for this operation.

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